Sharing Your Feelings as a Birth Mother: Writing Letters to Your Child

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Learn about writing a letter to your adopted childAs a birth mother, you’re able to give your child the gift of a love letter, that shares your feelings of hope and love. This is a beautiful and treasured gift that only you can provide.

“I don’t want my child to hate me for choosing adoption” is a fear that many birth parents express. Writing a special letter directly to her child can help any birth mother at this time of high emotions and often heartache. Through the letter, the birth mother is revealing her true loving feelings for her child.

You may begin the love letter by telling your child your hopes for their lives. These hope may be a significant reason you chose to make an adoption plan. Share the care with which you took to make sure they had the type of family you wished to provide. Also, you can take this occasion to explain that you did not choose adoption because you did not care about them, you chose adoption because you care so much that you want to provide more for them than you are able.

If other members of your family are struggling with your decision or difficult emotions, they may also want to write a letter. This is an chance for them to convey to your child that he or she is always loved from afar.

It’s a good idea to make copies of the letters for your special memory books or boxes. If you feel a pang of heartache in future years about the child you placed for adoption, re-reading these letters may help you.

If you have an open adoption relationship with your child’s adoptive parents, you might ask them to give your child this love letter. Your special letter is your hope and love on paper expressed to your child and will be a treasure for your child and the adoptive parents for many years to come.

It can be hard to find the words to accurately reflect what is in your heart, so some birth mothers feel as though they cannot write a letter like this. Please don’t let your words and feelings go unwritten or unspoken. Stories and pictures the adoptive parents tell your child will pale when compared to the heartfelt words that you can share, describing your feelings and your decision to choose adoption.

This is a beautiful way to leave a legacy for your child, sharing the hope you have for them through adoption. To consider submitting your letter to an upcoming book titled Adoption Love Stories, please visit

Leave a Reply