Posts Tagged ‘unplanned pregnancy’

Read to find out about open adoption and if it's the right pregnancy choice for youMaking the decision to place your child for adoption can be a difficult one. You are not alone in this decision, though. There are groups and sites, like Lifetime Adoption, that are more than willing to help and support you as you make this decision.

They can give you information, offer you advice, or just sit and listen to what you need to say. Everyone needs support when faced with a decision like this, and these groups have people who have gone through similar situations and are willing to help.

No matter who you turn to for support, do not let them rush you into making any decisions. This is YOUR decision; accept their advice, accept their information, but do not let them bully you into a decision that you do not think is right. This is your pregnancy and your baby.

Below are steps you can use to help you decide what you want to do:

List all the choices you have. Even if you do not think it could happen, put it down. As you gather information, you can eliminate what will not work.

Ask yourself some hard questions. You need to ask questions that not only deal with the present, but also your future. Write them down and answer them honestly. Here are a few to get you started:

– What do I want to do with my life?

– Is there someone willing to support me? If not, how will I support me and my baby?

– Do I feel comfortable being on public assistance?

– What are my views on abortion? How will an abortion make me feel years from now?

– What kind of people do I think would make good parents?

-Am I ready for the responsibility of being a parent? A single parent?

– Can I share my decision with my parents and friends?

– If someone I know does not like the decision, how will I deal with it?

– Is the father of the baby willing to help me through the pregnancy and after it?

Learn everything possible about each available option. Ask people you trust what things they would consider if they were experiencing this. Remember, this is your decision. Do not let anyone force you to make a decision you are uncomfortable with.

Look at the pros and cons of each option and write them down. Put them in a list of most favorable to least. This can help you see the whole picture.

Look inside yourself. Explore all your feelings. This decision is an extremely personal one. Only you know how you feel about what is happening.

A number of years ago, one of the staff members here at Birth Mother Articles worked with Beth, a woman in her mid-20s who called to get adoption information only because her mother encouraged her to at least look into it. She wasn’t truly interested. She wanted to be a mom to her baby.

As Beth spoke with our staff member, she was asked some of these hard questions. This exercise made her really think about her situation.


Birth Mother Articles staff member: Is the father of your baby ready to support you, your baby, and be a dad.

Beth: Well, he isn’t around right now but I know he’ll be when the baby is here.

Birth Mother Articles staff member: How do you know he’ll be?

Beth: Well, I guess I don’t really know but I just kind of hope he will.

Birth Mother Articles staff member: And what if he doesn’t? What if he doesn’t come back and doesn’t pay child support?

Beth: I don’t want to think about that.

Birth Mother Articles staff member: Do you have someone else then who will support you?

Beth: My mom said I can live with her for three months.

Birth Mother Articles staff member: Then what?

Beth: I want to get my own place.

Birth Mother Articles staff member: Great! How will you pay for it? And diapers, clothes, gas, a car, and other stuff?

Beth: Ummm. Maybe child support for some. But I don’t know. I don’t have to know that now do I? Can’t I figure it out when the baby’s here.

Birth Mother Articles staff member: How will you figure it out when you have to get up with baby every three to four hours in the night and have a little one to care for all day.

Beth: I don’t know.

Through the exercise, Beth realized that she needed a plan. She realized that she was unprepared for life as a single mom. She hadn’t planned this out fully. It wasn’t the life she had expected. When her man didn’t come around, she started to open up more to adoption, learning about the opportunities.

No matter what your decision is, be sure to see your doctor as soon as possible and schedule all necessary appointments. And remember, there are people ready to help and support you.

Your baby's development during pregnancyThe development of a baby in a woman’s womb is a fascinating process! While most women don’t feel the presence of ‘life’ inside their womb until a couple of months after conception, the baby is already growing by leaps and bounds even in the first few weeks of pregnancy! Here are some interesting facts about a baby’s development inside a woman’s body:

Heartbeat: The baby’s heart begins to pump blood as early as 21 days after conception. You can hear the baby’s heartbeat at the seventh or eighth week using an ultrasonic stethoscope.

Brain: The baby’s brain begins to function as early as eight weeks into gestation or six weeks after conception. Brain waves have been recorded at 40 days through an EEG (Electroencephalogram)

Other organs: Did you know that the fetus’s eyes, ears, and respiratory system begin to form just four weeks after fertilization? In fact, by eight weeks (or two months), all of the baby’s body systems are present. At eight weeks the baby’s stomach begins to produce gastric juice necessary for digestion.

Teeth: The baby’s milk-teeth buds (all 20 of them!) are present at six and a half weeks

Fingernails: You will be surprised to know that the baby’s fingerprints are fully formed by the fourth month of gestation and fingernails are present by 11 to 12 weeks. Even eyelashes are formed by 16 weeks!

Movement: The baby can make some movement as early as the ninth or 10th week. The baby can squint, swallow, move the tongue, and even make a tight fist at this stage!

Breath: At 3 months, the baby can breathe fluid and will continue to do so until birth. Since the baby obtains oxygen through the mother’s umbilical cord, he or she will not drown by breathing the fluid inside the womb. It is this breathing that helps to develop the respiratory systems.

In short, the baby is very much a life even a few days after conception and is not something with gills and a tail or just a random group of cells! In fact, it makes more sense to see the baby as the second patient, the first one being the mother. In other words, the unborn baby must be given the same amount of care and preference that is given to the pregnant mother.

Unfortunately, many women are considering abortion as a solution to unplanned pregnancy not knowing all of these facts. If you are considering this, I want you to know that there are better alternatives to abortion. Your baby is alive.

Tara had gone in to a clinic hoping to terminate her pregnancy through a surgical abortion. She was only a teenager and was terrified to tell her mom and dad that she was pregnant, especially because her dad was the pastor of the local church. She thought abortion would be easier than enduring the guilt and shame that would come with being a pregnant teen.

Once she saw her baby on the ultrasound, she realized it wasn’t just a mass of cells. It was formed and organized. And while it didn’t look like a fully-formed baby just yet, it was clear to see that it was on its way to becoming something. It was at that moment that Tara realized that ending her baby’s life simply to avoid telling her parents was not the answer.

After a tearful conversation, they began looking into adoption as an option. Tara chose a couple in California to adopt her baby boy. She liked the fact that they were open to letting her come visit once a year and be part of her son’s life. Christopher is now 5 years old and knows Tara is his tummy mommy.

Parenting or adoption can both be ways to give your baby the life he or she is already living. With open adoption, you can even remain a part of your child’s life, watching them grow with parents that you chose for them. There is so much help available if you can just reach out and take it.

Your baby is counting on you to make the best decision.